“People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the costant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. Days aren’t really days; they are just annoying obstacles that’s need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting. When you’re depressed, you grasp onto anything that can get you through the day. That’s what depression is. Not sadness or tears, it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.”—insecurity—kills—people: (via insecurity—kills—people)
"A fight is going on inside me," said an old man to his son. "It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you."
The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, “Which wolf will win?”
The old man replied simply, “The one you feed.”
”—Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life (via hqlines)
You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
Never stop yourself from texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9:30 a.m., tell them again.
Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
You will be scared of all kinds of things— of spiders and clowns and eating alone— but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes, someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners, but still fill a bed.
Always be friends with broken people. They know how to survive.
You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
I know that you didn’t want to go out today and I know that it feels like a small flock of sparrows are using your stomach for a bird bath.
I know you want to run away and cry and I know you just want to be alone.
I know that in the hot summer air, with what feels like a rhinoceros sitting on your windpipe, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.
I know it’s hard to answer the incessant question of “Are you alright?” When all you want is forty eight seconds of silence in your head.
I know that every part of you feels exposed to peoples’ judging eyes.
But I also know that every time you’ve wanted to quit, you haven’t.
And that you’re chest will continue to ride and fall so long as you keep breathing.
You’ve climbed mountains taller and braved deeper oceans. This will not stop you now.
You can do this.
Come on, breath in.”—
“I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?””—
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
“Be with someone who reads your favourite books with you or takes you out to dinner. Leaves you sweet messages to wake up to and makes your heart stop. Someone who makes you question your previous relationships because none of them compare to you. Be with someone who can make you laugh out loud during the day and moan so much during the night. Be with someone who makes you feel loved. Be with someone who will put up with your stubbly legs and bed head. Be with someone who talks nicely behind your back and will always see the good things in you. Be with someone who will answer your call at 2am when you’re feeling worse than normal. Be with someone who makes you feel like you deserve to be alive.”—4am thoughs (via overratedsuicide)
The worst is when you lie to yourself and tell yourself you’re okay or you’re over someone but deep down you know you’re not but you wanna believe you are and try so hard but it just doesn’t work that way
“The unexpected death of beloved actor and comedian Robin Williams has brought a reminder to the world that depression and addiction are illnesses that people cannot simply overcome or just “snap out of.” In fact, these are serious mental health issues that many tend to dismiss, often mistaking real symptoms with someone being melodramatic. Despite his rise in fame and success, Williams still struggled with addiction and depression throughout his career, and often talked and joked about his decades-long battle with cocaine and alcohol addiction.”—Read More (via psych-facts)
“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”—F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via anamorphosis-and-isolate)
“Most days I wish I’d never met you ‘cause then I could sleep at night. I didn’t have to walk around with the knowledge that there was someone like you out there. I didn’t have to watch you throw it all away.”—Good Will Hunting. Dir. Gus Van San. (via wordsnquotes)
All of Robin Williams’ greatest roles were about trying to reach people, getting through to them, listening and understanding what they are going through. His best roles were those of the mentor, advisor, listener. Most of his films had the ultimate message that there is no shame in asking for help, and that there is only honor in giving it. Please remember that part of his legacy. Remember that depression is a serious, terrible thing and that no one should have to go through it alone.
Listen to each other, help each other, love each other, goddammit.
“No one ever tells you that people will leave your life, unannounced. Sometimes they leave the earth, sometimes they just leave you. Things continue. Tomorrow you will wake up and the sun will be kissing your eyelids and it will be a new day for you to drink too much coffee and reread an old book. You will be okay. No one ever tells you that, either. Days will melt together like some candle you burned down to scraps, and seasons will change. You will fall in and out of love with yourself more times than you’ll ever be able to count. It is important to take the time to appreciate your own fingerprints, your own skin. There will be days when it is all you have.”—Never forget to be kind to yourself. (via withyourhalstondress)